I ate a mango today
ingested all of the stringy fibers
sucked on the seed

1997

I've been out of words
watching them flow at work
from a stomach bubble of panic

without food or dreams
the mango pit in my head
rattled with every thought

but I'm better now, really,
leveled-out and a bit numb
happy but lethargic

1997

we put photos in albums
tie letters into bundles

document the progression
from white lace dresses
to tar-stained cobwebs.

Since arriving here
I've been fine, just fine

even though my mind rattles
like a dried mango pit

1998

This must be it: the utter despair,
the shimmering silver vision
of a carefully templed gun.

I embrace these yearnings:
the desire to be dominated
playing dead for three days
blurred life speeding past.

I must clean out my closets,
prepare for the postscript.

Why are you surprised that the distance
between reality and reconstruction
is terrible enough
to swallow my life whole?

1998